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Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Marc S.
Subject: Best Joke of 2010, So Far....
Best Joke of 2010, So Far....
George
Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and
go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the
phone is for.
The
devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call
Next Queen Elizabeth calls
Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When
he is finished
the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.
When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush
got to call the
The devil smiles and replies: "Since Obama took over, the country
has gone to hell, so it's a local call."
Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Marc V.
Subject: A CBS Poll On Abama's Performance During His First 100 Days In
Office
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The Economy
A:
 3.99%
B:
4.28%
C:
5.24%
D:
18.03%
F:
68.46%
|
Foreign Policy
A:
5.89%
B:
4.04%
C:
7.88%
D:
22.22%
F:
59.98%
|
Health Care
A:
6.11%
B:
2.90%
C:
2.91%
D:
8.49%
F:
79.59%
|
Afghanistan
A:
5.12%
B:
13.77%
C:
26.51%
D:
22.99%
F:
31.62%
|
Iraq
A:
5.14%
B:
10.11%
C:
25.02%
D:
24.00%
F:
35.72%
|
|
Threat of Terrorism
A:
5.83%
B:
4.74%
C:
9.90%
D:
21.69%
F:
57.84%
|
Energy and the Environment
A:
4.89%
B:
5.30%
C:
12.78%
D:
21.31%
F:
55.72%
|
Social Issues
A:
5.83%
B:
4.56%
C:
11.02%
D:
19.29%
F:
59.30%
|
Bipartisanship A: 5.76%
B:
2.95%
C:
3.96%
D:
8.16%
F:
79.17%
|
Obama's Overall Job as President
A:
5.40%
B:
3.87%
C:
3.74%
D:
22.78%
F:
64.21%
|
NOTE: This is not a scientific poll. The results above are for information purposes only, and should not be confused with the results of the scientific polls conducted by CBS News.
Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Unknown
Subject: A Blue Pigeon
A Blue Pigeon
The mayor of Phoenix was very worried about a plague of pigeons in Phoenix . He
could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of Phoenix was full of pigeon
poop, the people of Phoenix could not walk on the sidewalks or drive on the
roads.
It was costing a fortune to keep the streets and sidewalks clean.
One day a man came to City Hall and offered the Mayor a proposition.
'I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons without any cost to the
city. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions. Or, you can pay
me one million dollars to ask one question .'
The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free proposition.
The next day the man climbed to the top of City Hall, opened his coat, and
released a blue pigeon. The blue pigeon circled in the air and flew up into the
bright blue Arizona sky.
All the pigeons in Phoenix saw the blue pigeon and gathered up in the air behind
the blue pigeon. The Phoenix pigeons followed the blue pigeon as she flew
southward out of the city.
The next day the blue pigeon returned completely alone to the man atop City
Hall.
The Mayor was very impressed. He felt the man and the blue pigeon had performed
a wonderful miraculous feat to rid Phoenix of the plague of pigeons. Even though
the man with the pigeon had charged nothing, the mayor presented him with a
check for 1 million dollars and told the man that, indeed, he did have a
question to ask and even though they had agreed to no fee and the man had rid
the city of pigeons, he decided to pay the 1 million just to ask ONE question.
The man accepted the money and told the mayor to ask his ONE question.
Do you think the Mayor is going to ask how the blue pigeon led all the pigeons
away?
Do you think the Mayor is going to ask where all the pigeons went?
Do you think he is going to ask where the man got the blue pigeon?
Nooooooo!!!
The mayor asked,
Do you have a blue Mexican?'
Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Marc S.
Subject: Pelosium
Pelosium:
A
major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest
element yet known to science. The new element has been named Pelosium.
Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and
224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.
These
particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded
by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
The
symbol of Pelosium is PU.
Pelosium's
mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various
elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the
Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes.
This
characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientist to believe that Pelosium
is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This
hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
When
catalyzed with money, Pelosium activates CNN adnausium, an element that radiates
orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half
as many peons but twice as many morons as Pelosium.
Richard
Semper Fi
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