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Welcome To Our "Forwarded Pages
& Other Goodies" Section

Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Wayne B. 
Subject: Why Women Outlive Men

You know, they might be right boys and girls. I think #4 is the best.
Have a good laugh, we all need one from  time to time. ~ Wayne
Why Women Outlive Men


#7
("Jackstands? Hah! Who needs 'em?")




#6
(Necessity is the mother of invention...)




#5
("And to think... those wimps at the power company use straps and cleats to get up this high!")




#4
(I'm sure this guy still wonders why he got fired that day.)




#3
("Gee, guys... that seems like an awful lot of protective gear for such a small chlorine gas leak...")




#2
Step 1: Remove shoes.
Step 2: Place metal ladder in water.
Step 3: Begin using power tools while standing barefoot on metal ladder in water.

And the winner is...


(How crazy do you have to be before this starts looking like a good idea?

Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Wayne B. 
Subject: Only 52 Years Ago

To all you ladies and gentlemen, remember when? Oh, not old enough yet? A little insight to a kinder and gentler world before you got here. Boy would I love to have my 55 Chevy like this back again or even my 66 Dodge Charger. ~ Wayne
 only 52 years ago!
Comments made in the year 1955:

[] 
"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20."

"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2000 will only buy a used one."


"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."


"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"


"If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."


"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."


"Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."

[]  "I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying 'damn' in 'Gone With The Wind,' it seems every new movie has either "hell" or "damn" in it


"I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas "


"Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president."


"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."

[]  "It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet."


"It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."


"Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat."


"I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business."

[]  "Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress."

"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on."


"There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel."


"No one can afford to be sick any more; $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood."


"If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it"


Know friends who would get a kick out of these? Pass it on!


[]

Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Wayne 
Subject: How to get along in life......

How to get along in life.........
Be generous.

  
  
  

Be obedient, no matter how much the Master's plan

doesn't make sense to you.



Love your neighbor as yourself. Give to those less fortunate.

Relax and let God drive. Enjoy the ride!

Don't be afraid.

He said He would never leave us or forsake us!


 

Take time to rest and enjoy the company of friends.




31dcc5.jpg










 

Value, honor and enjoy your family,

no matter how strange they seem to you.



 

Help widows and orphans.


 
 


Don't watch too much TV.


 


Whatever your lot in life, remember God is in control.


 

Remember, you were divinely created with a purpose!



Others were too,
Even if they seem way different from you!


 

So ---- Have fun, and enjoy the abundant life!

  You will not pass this way again!



Pray.
 

 


"A friend is someone who reaches

 for your hand and touches your heart"

Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Lisa 
Subject: The Plan! By Robin Williams

[]
The Plan!

[]

Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says "I love New York" in Arabic.

[]

You gotta love Robin Williams... Even if he's nuts!
Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect
plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador 
to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to
argue with this logic!)

"I see a lot of people yelling for peace
but I have not heard of a plan for
peace. So, here's one plan."


[]

1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past &present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those "good ole boys", we will never "interfere" again.


[]

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.


[]

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.


[]

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

[]

5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. ?If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

[]

6) The US will make a strong effort
to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while
 

[]

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)


[]

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given
to the army. The people who need
it most get very little, if anything.


[]

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

?

[]

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan


[]

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer
saying "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?' "


[]
[]
?


If you agree with the above forward
it to friends...If not, and I would be amazed, DELETE it!!

 

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