How Old Folks Call The Police

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Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Lisa S.
Subject: How Old Folks Call The Police

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked 'Is someone in your house?' and he said 'no'. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, 'Okay,' hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. 'Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them.' Then he hung up.

Within five minutes six police cars, a SWAT Team, a helicopter, two fire trucks, a paramedic and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed .

One of the Policemen said to George: 'I thought you said that you'd shot them!' George said, 'I thought you said there was nobody available!'

(True Story) I LOVE IT - Don't mess with old people.

Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Wayne
Subject: Great Idea For A T-Shirt

T-SHIRT

I thought you would want one (or more) of these!!

OK, where can I order mine?

I’m dying to wear one to Walgreen’s.

This shirt should be a hoot at the post office also.

I’ll bet if we put our heads together, we can come up with a great list of fun places to wear this shirt and stir up all kinds of discontent.

K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Target, KFC, & McDonald’s all just came to mind. ! Gee, it’s exciting when I get inspired. Don’t just sit there, jump in and be politically correct with me!

Forward this e-mail to all your friends

PASS THIS ALONG !

LET’S FLOOD THE U.S.A.

WITH THIS ONE!

Forward this e-mail to all your friends

Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Marc S.
Subject: INTERESTING STATISTIC

INTERESTING STATISTIC

Regardless of where you stand on the issue of the U.S. involvement in Iraq , here's a sobering statistic:

There has been a monthly average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theatre of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths. That gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000 persons for the same period.

That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in the U.S. Capital than you are in Iraq .

Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington

Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Marc R.
Subject: Inter-Species Friendship!

Inter-Species’ Friendship!