Food For Thought - Literally

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Welcome To Our "Forwarded Pages
& Other Goodies" Section

Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Marc R.
Subject: Food For Thought - Literally

I wonder how much in each picture was wasted versus consumed?

Jennifer

Italy: The Manzo family of Sicily

Food expenditure for one week: 214.36 Euros or $260.11

Germany: The Melander family of Bargteheide

Food expenditure for one week: 375.39 Euros or $500.07

United States: The Revis family of North Carolina (Sure hope most American families eat more fresh fruits and vegetables and less junk food than this family.) Food expenditure for one week $341.98

Mexico: The Casales family of Cuernavaca

Food expenditure for one week: 1,862.78 Mexican Pesos or $189.09

Poland: The Sobczynscy family of Konstancin-Jeziorna

Food expenditure for one week: 582.48 Zlotys or $151.27

Egypt: The Ahmed family of Cairo

Food expenditure for one week: 387.85 Egyptian Pounds or $68.53

Ecuador: The Ayme family of Tingo

Food expenditure for one week: $31.55

Bhutan: The Namgay family of Shingkhey Village

Food expenditure for one week: 224.93 ngultrum or $5.03

Chad: The Aboubakar family of Breidjing Camp

Food expenditure for one week: 685 CFA Francs or $1.23

Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Lisa S..
Subject: REVISED EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK

REVISED EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK

DRESS:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers & carrying a $600 Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all of your parts. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of the employment contract.

PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

VACATION DAYS:
All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July. 4 & Dec. 25.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done.

OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

RESTROOM USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with A will go from 8 to 8:20; employees whose names begin with B will go from 8:20 to 8:40; and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies, employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors must approve this exchange in writing.

LUNCH BREAK:
From now on, skinny people will get an hour for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy; normal size people will get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure; and fat people will get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast & take a diet pill.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Have a nice week.

Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Wayne B..
Subject: New California Driver's License

The following is placed here for another a giggle or two.
Back in Oct., of 1993 when I left the southern end (Modesto) of
Northern CA for deepest darkest AR, it was just about this bad back
then. I can only imagine what 14 years of continued degeneration
has done to the once grand and glorious state I was raised in! ~ Cary

2,000 years ago, Moses said, "Pick up your shovel, pack your ass, mount your camel and I shall lead you to the Promised Land."

200-plus years ago, George Washington said, "Get off your ass, use your shovel, clear the land, grow plants for camels and it will be the Promised Land. "

Last year, the Congress of the United States said "Si, Amigos, throw away your shovel, sit on your ass, light your Camels, we're giving you the Promised Land."

Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Marc S.
Subject: 9/11 Trucker

Hi Marc;

Just received this from a friend in Washington. Kinda nice............

Have you heard about the trucker who has painted his cab and trailer with the names of all those who lost their lives in 9/11? The trucker's name is John Holmgren from Shafer, Minn. He has been "pulled over" numerous times just so the troopers can get their picture taken with the truck.

(scroll down to see the pictures)

KEEP THIS GOING SO ALL CAN SEE